“I’m Afraid I’ll End Up Joining the NATO Summit”: Actor Sho Kijima Makes Emergency Trip to U.S. to Resist Temptation

Actor Sho Kijima (46) made an emergency departure from Narita Airport to Los Angeles on the 13th. The move was reportedly to physically prevent his “sudden participation” in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) summit scheduled to be held in Brussels next week. Speaking to the press at the boarding gate, Kijima, with a look of anguish visible behind his sunglasses, spoke passionately about a self-sacrifice no one asked for: “My words have a gravitational pull that moves the world. That is exactly why I must break that attraction now.”

The incident began with a “fear” Kijima expressed on his blog. “If the NATO Secretary General were to ask me, ‘Please use your acting theory to coordinate the interests of various nations,’ I wouldn’t have the confidence to refuse. And if I were to speak, even the balance of nuclear deterrence could shift.” This post spread instantly, with some fervent fans flooding it with comments like, “The time has come for the global Kijima to act,” and “Don’t go, your life will be targeted.” A collective sense of mission, bordering on delusion, drove him into “exile.”

Kijima’s concern isn’t about whether he has an invitation. According to him, a true request doesn’t arrive via mail or email but as the “atmosphere of the times.” In the airport lobby, he showed off his smartphone wrapped in multiple layers of aluminum foil. “I’ve blocked the signals. Even telepathy from Brussels shouldn’t reach me over the Pacific.” Through physical distance and electromagnetic countermeasures, he is attempting to seal away his “excessive influence.”

Naturally, the NATO Public Affairs Bureau responded to this paper’s inquiry by saying, “Mr. Kijima? We don’t know him, but the meeting is held only with heads of member states and military experts.” There is no record of an invitation ever being sent. However, the president of Kijima’s talent agency evaded the question with a philosophical comment: “Precisely because he wasn’t called, there is a possibility he could be called. It’s paradoxical, but that is the fate of a star.” It seems the entire agency has become a stage set for a grand game of “make-believe.”

Experts are cold in their assessment. The director of a mental health clinic in Tokyo analyzed, “This is a type of ‘Hero Syndrome,’ but it’s rare in that he positions himself not as a victim but as a ‘preemptive savior.’ It’s harmless, but if those around him play along, it will only escalate.” Nevertheless, approximately 200 fans who gathered at the airport tearfully saw off the “Kijima who is stepping back for world peace.” In their eyes, a simple first-class trip to LA appeared as the passion of a saint.

Kijima is scheduled to arrive at a poolside of a luxury hotel in Los Angeles on the night of the 13th local time. It is a place farthest from the flames of war and closest to the lenses of the paparazzi. “By my silence, the world can maintain peace.” As he tilts his cocktail glass, he will surely bask in the silence brought about by his absence—all while continuing to protect his smartphone, which won’t be receiving a single call, inside its aluminum foil wrapping.

Stakeholder Comments

• Sho Kijima (Actor): “My acting method, ‘Ku’ (Void), can be applied to easing international tensions. That’s why it’s dangerous. I don’t want to become a weapon.”
• Agency President: “Kijima’s trip to the U.S. is a vacation based on ‘proactive pacifism.’ Even during his time off, he is saving the world.”
• Fan at the Airport (Woman in her 20s): “It doesn’t matter if there’s no invitation. Sho’s aura transcends borders, so there’s no way NATO would leave him alone!”
• Psychological Counselor: “His self-consciousness has broken through the stratosphere. It will take some time for him to come back down to earth.”
• NATO Headquarters Security Guard (Brussels): “Kijima? Is that the name of a new Pokémon? Only heads of member states enter here.”
• Kijima’s Stylist: “For his ‘exile outfit,’ I coordinated him in all-black high-brand clothes so he wouldn’t stand out. It actually made him stand out more, though.”
• Travel Agency Staff: “He said it was an emergency, but he made sure to collect his miles, and the round-trip discount was applied.”
• Aluminum Foil: “I never thought I’d be used to wrap a smartphone. This is the first time I’ve wrapped something so ‘hot’ other than a baked potato.”
• Los Angeles Waiter: “He was just by the pool earlier asking, ‘Which way is Brussels?’ He tipped well, though.”
• World Peace: “Whether he comes or not, my mood doesn’t change.”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Carrying the pain
• Of an uninvited guest
• Off to America
• Cold spring day
• Fingers protecting
• A silent smartphone
• Spreading wings
• Of self-consciousness
• Flying to the West
• An actor’s sorrow
• Leaving the world behind
• All on its own
• Poolside in LA
• Thinking of NATO
• From a distant day
• Resolve of a guest
• Who was never invited
• Under the spring sky
• Calling it exile
• While soaking in the warmth
• Of a hot bath
• Realizing peace
• Is nothing but
• My own silence
• Beyond the signal
• That I have cut off
• What do I see?
• Soliloquy
• Carried by the wind
• Over the Pacific

Kanji / Chinese Characters

俳優貴島翔緊急渡米 (Actor Sho Kijima Emergency Trip to USA) NATO会議参加恐怖症 (NATO Summit Participation Phobia) 招待状無妄想的苦悩 (Delusional Anguish of No Invitation) 自意識過剰平和維持 (Excessive Self-Consciousness Peacekeeping) 電波遮断銀紙包装 (Signal Blocking Silver Foil Packaging) 世界変影響力封印 (Sealing the World-Changing Influence) 西海岸高級避難所 (Luxury West Coast Refuge) 英雄的自己陶酔劇 (Heroic Self-Narcissism Drama)

Emoji

✈️🇺🇸😎📵🌯🚫🇧🇪🤝🌍🕊️💭🏨🍸🏊‍♂️✨

Onomatopoeia

Buzz buzz, flash flash! (Paparazzi) Look of determination Crinkle crinkle (Aluminum foil) Silence… Tap tap, Roooar (Takeoff) Splosh (Pool) Sparkle sparkle

SNS

• I can’t stop crying at Sho’s decision… Stepping back for world peace is just too precious 😭 #ShoKijima #NATO
• Being afraid of going to a place you weren’t even invited to—how high-level is this guy’s self-consciousness? lol #ShoKijima
• NATO Secretary General: “Who?”
• He overestimates his influence so much it’s actually refreshing. Is wrapping your phone in foil the new fashion?
• I don’t want to go to work tomorrow either, so I’ll tell my boss, “I’m afraid I’ll be called to the G7.”
• If the Kijima Method brings world peace, I’d rather he actually go.
• Escaping to LA… isn’t he just timing it for the Oscars? 🤔
• “If I move, the world changes” ← The #1 line I want to say just once in my life.
• Practicing how to say no when he doesn’t have an invitation—Sho is so cute lol
• In the end, the best punchline is that no one cares. It’s peaceful.