An unprecedented underwater musical debuts requiring all audience members to wear wetsuits. The conductor wears a snorkel, ballet dancers perform with fins, and the program is, of course, waterproof.
The Ministry of Foreign Affairs is considering visa exemptions with Hell to expand talent exchange. If realized, fire-resistant demons and customer center staff will arrive in Japan en masse, while tax evaders' one-way departures will also be facilitated.
The International Association of Athletics Federations has officially recognized a new event replacing shot put iron balls with 20cm diameter freshly fried chicken. Athletes will be judged by the crispy sound of the coating, making it a competition where one literally cannot afford to be 'oil' guard.
Amid a severe rice shortage, a blockchain company has tokenized government rice reserves, marketing them as 'being inedible is the new value.' Buyers can't receive actual rice but instead enjoy a meta-cooking experience watching virtual grains fluctuate on their rice cooker screens.
A university research team has developed conductive paste made from wheat flour, successfully 3D-printing power cords in udon noodle form. While boasting first-class elasticity and chewiness, the durability is "within expiration date," leaving appliance manufacturers in stunned silence.
A city hall basement lost property office has transformed unclaimed suitcases into percussion instruments for impromptu concerts. Participating staff members laugh, 'It's great stress relief - we can drum during work hours.'
Manufacturers challenge the notion of 'crying over smartphone addiction.' The new device converts user tears into battery power through electrolytes, earning rave reviews from heartbroken souls and exam-stressed students calling it 'infinite energy.'
The Defense Ministry has submitted a bill to delegate military service to AI robots, claiming it will 'reduce stress levels for young people.' Citizens are obligated to watch battle situations 24/7 through a 'viewing app,' with mounting criticism that 'stress levels are higher than ever.'
New romance film faces shocking departure of muscle-bound lead actor. Producers claim 'protein-wise substitution possible,' hastily casting protein can as love interest. On-set 'romantic chemical reactions' with leading lady fuel tabloid frenzy.
As record-breaking heavy rains continue nationwide, health authorities suddenly declared a 'biohazard caused by rainy season bacteria.' As an infection prevention measure, household umbrellas were designated as 'simplified protective suits,' with citizens advised to 'wear them open 24 hours a day.' However, commuter trains are already on the verge of collapse due to the mass of open umbrellas.