A-List Celebrity Couple Outsources All Private Conversation to Screenwriters; Fights Require Three Retakes
Refining even simple phrases like 'pass the tea' to perfection, the couple has elevated daily conversations to the absolute limit. Morning greetings are delivered as moving soliloquies, while negotiations over who takes out the trash are penned by suspense writers. Neighbors have inundated them with complaints, lamenting, 'We can't sleep because of late-night screams of "Cut!" followed by staff applause.'