A 'self-powered scale' that generates electricity by blowing intestinal gas into sensors has been released. While users rejoice that 'it gets lighter every time I measure,' experts scratch their heads wondering 'if the numbers are accurate.'
Major corporation announces 'Life Expectancy Advance Bonus' as new incentive. Hopeful employees can receive large bonuses immediately using their future lifespan as collateral, but the company's medical office is the only department constantly bustling.
After paper straws comes the 'edible metal straw.' The manufacturer boasts it's both iron-replenishing and eco-friendly, but buyers flood reviews with 'metal taste overpowers coffee' and 'nutrition minus due to tooth loss.'
A giant 'power switch' illuminating the Great Buddha of Nara has been unveiled for tourists. With one touch, the lighting can be turned ON/OFF, sparking debate about whether faith should be subject to energy-saving measures.
To solve radio clock congestion, the Meteorological Agency links volcanic plume heights to standard time. The system declares "noon when smoke tops Mount Fuji," but accuracy depends on weather and volcanic mood. Citizens hope for "daily dormant volcano mode for early dismissal."
A high-precision AI diet app notified a user who lost 3kg overnight due to gastroenteritis, "Congratulations on achieving your goal! Hydration is optional." The unwell owner, while feeling discomfort, did a double-take at the screen.
In the name of resolving 'information imbalance,' the government announces it will distribute conspiracy theories weekly based on the basic resident registry. On social media, concerns about the value collapse of distributed goods are already emerging, with users claiming 'the moment the government certifies a conspiracy, it's no longer a conspiracy.'
As part of a universal design initiative, a ramp has been installed at Hell's gates. While praised for ensuring equal flame-bathing opportunities for wheelchair users, Heaven lodges fierce protests claiming their "differentiation strategy is collapsing."
The National Museum has adopted an unprecedented 'tennis rally method' to restore aging folding screens. Experts warn that both cultural properties and sports are on the verge of a double fault as conservators volley gold leaf with rackets.
The unconventional romance film 'Flex of Love,' which tells its story solely through muscle contraction sounds and glistening sweat sound effects, has premiered. Audiences comment 'We don't need subtitles but we do need protein supply stations,' while mysterious pectoral applause erupted during screenings.