Spacesuits Replaced by Mandatory '800 Layers of Thermal Underwear' — Compression Allows Astronauts to Generate Diamonds
Struggling with budget deficits, private space development firm 'Galaxy Sweat Co.' announced on the 26th that it will abolish the use of Extravehicular Mobility Units (EMUs)—estimated at 1 billion yen per suit—and mandate astronauts wear 800 layers of commercially available 'ultra-warm thermal underwear.' In theory, the 800 layers of air insulation block absolute zero, while the physical compression matches that of 10,000 meters underwater. Since 'merely breathing puts a load equivalent to a 200kg bench press' on the body, space stays will turn into extreme muscle-training gyms. The head of development proudly stated, 'No one has ever been able to undress by themselves upon return, but everyone has obtained a hardness akin to a living diamond.'
